Save Me
by EvilGeniusBookWorm13
Summary: James and Kendall have saved each other plenty of times...but can Kendall save James this time? Or will the truth be too much for him? Rated M for swears, angst, possible lemon... Not sure yet and other stuff...SLASH and Kames! R
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Here's a Kames fic. My second one…I hope its ok! Beware! SLASH! Don't like don't read! Umm…review?

Chapter One:

James paced his and Kendall's room, contemplating many, many things. He had never thought so hard in his life, and it kind of hurt his head. Oh…you might be wondering what he was thinking about…well, he was thinking about his sexuality.

Sure, he was a player, he flirted with any living and unloving thing, but he was starting to like his best friend…who was a _guy_. And to top it all off, it was Kendall Knight. The guy who had saved his life two times. The guy who was slowly tearing apart his heart and soul.

James sat down on his bed, falling back against the comforter and recalling those memories. The first one was when he was five, crossing the street at the wrong time.

_12 years ago…_

_Little Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan where walking to Logan's house after preschool with Mrs. and Mr. Mitchell. The other three boys were sleeping over and were having a party for Logan's sixth birthday. (He was the oldest)_

_But on the way to their house, they had to cross a road. It was a very busy road, and the Mitchell's were very strict about crossing it. The boys had to wait for the walking light to come on, check both ways, and then cross the street. But James wasn't paying attention to when the light came on. So when he snapped out of his day dream (of having that news truck be videotaping _him_), Carlos and Logan were screaming at him to come across. Mr. Mitchell was yelling at him to stay where he was, since the light wasn't on, but he paid no attention to him as he looked both ways._

_No cars were coming from both directions, so James stepped off the sidewalk and started walking towards the group. Carlos and Logan were smiling, waving at him to move faster, while Mrs. Mitchell and Mr. Mitchell were positively freaking out. Kendall on the other hand had his bushy eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he watched the pretty boy cross the road. Then, out of nowhere, came a loud honk and a screech of wheels and brakes clashing. If Kendall hadn't reacted so fast, James would be dead._

_Kendall had saw the truck coming; he had saw how fast it was going; and the only thing that mattered to him was saving James' ass. So, he had run into the road and shoved the pretty boy in the opposite direction, causing the two to just barely be missed by the truck. Kendall had saved James' life for the first time in their friendship._

_Back to present…_

James smiled at the memory, and remembered how a year later Kendall's dad died. He had been the only boy there to comfort him; Logan being gone on a family trip and Carlos visiting his Grandparents. He had saved Kendall then…saved the blonde boy from going into depression. Kendall had been so close to slipping into that barren wasteland, but James had continuously cracked jokes, sung, and played with Kendall; had done anything to keep the blonde's mind away from the death of his father. And it had worked. Kendall got over the death (well…not exactly OVER it…but didn't start crying every time his dad is mentioned…).

But, when James turned twelve, five years ago, his dad had given him the worst surprise of his life and Kendall had saved him from it.

_Five years ago…_

_It was James' birthday, and he was having a great time with his mom before his dad came home. You see, James' mom was caring, loving, and had used to be a famous singer…but retired when she got pregnant with James. James had always looked up to his mom, and it was her that he inherited his lucky comb from._

_So, on that night, James had just blown out the candles of his cake and had opened his only gift from his mom and was happy as ever. James' family wasn't rich, so James got his mom's lucky comb for his birthday, and he was ecstatic. He had put it right under his pillow for safe keeping. But then his dad came home…_

_His dad was drunk and angry. He was abusive to both him and his mother, and James hated him with a passion. Too bad his father was the money maker in the family. And that night, James had watched his mother die by his father's hands. Watched his idol die a horrible, bloody death. And his dad was coming for him next. So, while his dad was busy killing his mom, James had snuck to his room and started packing. He shoved all his clothes and possessions into a backpack and a suitcase. He had tugged on his favorite jacket (leather…of course), grabbed all his money and shoved it into his wallet, put his lucky comb into his backpack, and grabbed his hockey stick._

_He had just shoved his suitcase and hockey stick out of the window (his backpack on his back already) and was climbing out when his dad slammed the door of his room open. James scrambled out and slammed the window on his dad's fingers. The pretty boy then jumped from the roof with his hockey stick and suitcase, running as fast as he could away from the house. He could hear his dad yelling that he disowned him, and that if he ever came back, he would kill the kid. James just ran faster until he found himself at the school. He immediately sat on the bleachers by the football field and rested._

_He had nowhere to go, nobody to take him in. That is until Kendall and his mom and sister took their dog on a walk and found James on the bleachers, shaking and crying. Once again, Kendall had saved him, took him in, and gave him a family._

_Present:_

James' face was streaked with tears. That memory was the most bittersweet memory he had. His family had been taken away…but he got a new one in return. But Ms. Knight wasn't his legal guardian…no one was. But Ms. Knight didn't care. She still treated him as if he was her own son.

James then smiled again, recalling the memory of when he saved Kendall for a second time. Kendall had fallen through the ice on the lake when they were skating and playing hockey. James had took off his skates and dived in, retrieving Kendall from the ice-cold water. The two ended up with a bit of hypothermia, but a very mild case. Kendall, back then, was a horrible swimmer, and if James had not saved him, he wouldn't be living.

The two always seemed to return the favors the other did for them. Kendall saved his life twice, James saved Kendall's twice (or 1.5 times…but that's technicalities). Kendall bought James a smoothie James bought Kendall a cookie. They reciprocated constantly, and the other two were starting to get worried when the reciprocating stopped. They were worried because James was always out of it, always distant, always pushing them away.

But what had brought on the sudden bout of secluding into himself? What had gotten him so…upset?

Logan and Carlos asked these questions constantly. Even Kendall became worried after two weeks of James' new behavior. No one knew why. No one really understood James anymore. And to top off James' problems, his late mother's birthday was this month.

**A/N: **I like this. More angst. That's my style of writing…angsty romance…yeah…so I hoped you like it! REVIEW please? The buttons RIGHT there...VVVVV...see it? yeah...click it! I have a bit of writers block and reviews help me with posting faster...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Here's chapter 2. I'm having major writer's block for this story because I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too focused on my other story…sorry.

Chapter 2:

James didn't mean to become so distant from his friends. It just kind of happened. Well, he had fallen for his best friend Kendall, and he needed some time alone to organize his thoughts and feelings.

So when the boys asked him questions about what his problem was and why he was acting that way, he would brush them off or ignore them. But when they kept at it, he would get meaner, and say something like "Mind your own damn business!" He was secluding into himself more and more, and he was contemplating running away every day. He just needed to get away from it all…

_NO!_ He yelled inside his head. _Stop thinking like that. You just…need to space yourself from Kendall…keep your space…_

Now, here he sat by the pool, looking solemnly at the pavement beneath his feet while trying not to cry. Today was the day that his idol, his very own mother, would have turned 42. He was trying not to break down, for the very own sake of his friends, but he couldn't help it when he saw her picture on his phone. He got up hastily, running as fast as he could to the apartment where he could hide himself. He slammed the door shut and stormed into his and Kendall's shared room where he collapsed on his bed and just broke. Right then and there he started sobbing, shaking the bed violently. It seemed as if no one was home today for the fact that no one seemed to hear his desperate sobs echoing throughout the room. After he calmed down a bit, he walked over to the bathroom and locked himself inside.

His hair was tangled, and it was also a little dull, but it wasn't very noticeable. His eyes were rimmed red and dark, signaling his recent crying and lack of sleep. His skin stayed that glowing caramel color, with the exception of his wrists, which held his deepest, darkest secret. There on his wrists laid light lines, criss-crossing and parallel to one another. These lines were old scares of what James called therapy. Some were recent, but most of the lines that littered his flesh were fading, leaving him more room for his relief. If you haven't figured it out by now, James cut himself as an outlet for all his pain.

When it all became too much, such as today, James would take the blade (Which he stole from Buddha Bob's tool kit) and lightly brush it against his skin as to not leave a cut. Then he would repeat that, only this time pressing harder, creating a line of blood from a fresh cut. The pain from this was an outlet for his other pain, psychological and mental pain, which he couldn't handle. The cutting was his therapy. Without it, he would surely be dead by now. Why? Well, the pretty boy tended to bottle up all his emotions, and this was the only way to let them out without him exploding. This was the only way to get through it all.

The blade was already in his hand, moving towards his wrist at a fast pace. It was sliding across his once untouched skin of his forearm, creating a line of blood that flowed into the sink. The first cut was quickly followed by a second and a third, before James dropped the blade into the sink and washed it off. He then bandaged his wrist and put his wrist-dana on and checked the room and himself. The floor was clean, no blood. Same with the sink. Same with him. The blade was hidden well in his floss container before he walked back into his room.

His stomach growled as soon as he sat down, though, so he sighed and get up again to head into the kitchen. It was there he saw the calendar, with the date and words screaming at him, that he collapsed onto the ground again, sobbing into his hands as he curled onto his side. He quickly felt warm arms wrap around his shaking figure, pulling him into their lap and stroking his hair. He could vaguely see through his tears a woman with red-brown hair and bright green eyes crying herself as she held him. James threw his arms around her, and together they cried on the floor of the kitchen.

After James sobs had subsided, Mrs. Knight brought him into the living room and sat him on the couch while she walked into the kitchen. She walked out with some hot cocoa in hand and gave a cup to James as she sat down beside him with her own cup.

"Let's watch a movie…get your mind off of things, ok?" she asked, shooting James a sad smile.

James only nodded, looking ahead at the TV with solemn eyes. At least Mrs. Knight was there for him and that she remembered. Otherwise James would be locked in his room the whole day, not talking to anyone. He took a sip of his hot cocoa, which was rich and warm, and smiled as he leaned into his second mother's warm side. Mrs. Knight smiled at the gesture and wrapped an arm around him as they continued to watch the movie together.

Kendall, on the other hand, knew what day it was perfectly. He had seen James' emotionless face. But he had thought that meant James just wanted to be by himself. That's how he was when it was his dead father's birthday. He just wanted to be left alone. So Kendall had given James his space and done his own thing, when James truly needed the comfort from his friend. But Kendall stayed away for that exact reason.

And, you know, for the small fact that Kendall liked James, and tended to be very impulsive.

**A/N:**** A little bit of Kendall POV there. Small chapter, I know, but it's all that wanted to come out of my brain. Hopefully I'll find inspiration for this again…but, please tell me any ideas! I could really use some right now.**

**So…REVIEWS and IDEAS please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**** I'm baaaaaaaaaack! I'm into this story more, so yay! I planned out each chapter. So there will probably be about 7 ish. Not sure, though, because you guys might come up with an amazing idea(s) and I'll make it longer! XD Hahaha I'll let you read the story.**

Chapter 3:

James awoke on the couch, laying down and really taking up the whole thing. He rose slowly, head spinning from the movement, only to look around to see no one. He glanced at the clock, it screaming at him that it was 10 am, and shot off the couch…only to see that it was Saturday. They didn't work on Saturday's. He sighed in relief and went into his room to change and wash up.

As he pulled on a black long sleeve shirt and his dark skinny jeans, he heard the front door open. "Anybody home?"

"In here!" James yelled back, hopping around as he pulled his Vans on. Carlos came through the door and frowned.

"Why do you wear long sleeves in this weather?"

James shrugged. "I get cold easily."

Carlos nodded in understanding. "Well, we're all down at the pool. Want to join us?"

James smiled. "Sure."

Together, the two walked down to where the rest of the band sat. James picked a chair at a table where Logan sat reading his book. "Hey." The genius looked up.

"Hey."

"Anything new?" Carlos asked.

"Well, Camille is flirting with me again. So-"

"You should ask her out on a date!" Carlos said, nudging Logan's side.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Sasha asked where you were. She wanted to talk to you." Before the two others knew it, Carlos was gone, leaving only air to occupy his seat. Logan laughed and said "And Kendall and Jo have been…cuddling. It kind of disgusts me."

James nodded. "I can see why. I mean, they look more like siblings than anything else."

Logan laughed. "No. I mean, why do they do it so much? I get it once in a while. And I also hate the fact that it's not you and him." At James' blush and stutters, Logan sighed. "I've seen the way you look at him, James. There's no hiding anything from me. I can read people really well."

_Yeah. Sure. If you read people so well, then why haven't you caught me? Why haven't you stopped me from what I do? From what I'm addicted to?_

James only nodded.

Something buzzed, and Logan pulled his phone out and sighed. "Camille needs to see me."

"Go ask her on a date before she asks you." James smiled sadly as he stood and walked away.

Unfortunately, he had to pass Palm Woods longest lasting couple kissing and cuddling.

Kendall looked so happy, just holding that…that _girl_ in his arms and laughing with her. It made James feel so many emotions. Jealousy, anger, sadness, and…is that a tinge of hatred? He couldn't hate the girl. No, he didn't. He hated their _relationship_.

James found himself storming into the apartment, his dark thoughts slowly taking over in his mind. He clutched his head as he stumbled into his room and bathroom, shutting and locking the door.

_He's never going to love you, James… He'll always love her._

_ She better, anyways. She's prettier, nicer, caring, whole…_

_ She's no mess, James. She's all he's ever wanted. She's what he needs._

_ He hates you. Pities you. Doesn't want you…_

"STOP IT!" He slammed his fist against the wall, collapsing onto the ground as he clutched his head. He hated the voices. Hated them. They made him feel like shit.

He got up again, holding his head in one hand and searching the drawers frantically with the other. Where was his blade? He needed his blade…

"James? You ok?" A voice came through the door.

"Uh…" James shut the drawer and splashed his face. "Yeah. Just, um, washing my face."

"Well, hurry. We're leaving for the studio in a few. Gustavo called and wants us there…" Carlos said.

"Ok! I'll be right out!"

James grabbed his blade and wrapped it in toilet paper, shoving it in his pocket. He opened the door to a confused Carlos. "Why were you washing your face?"

James shrugged. "I was feeling clammy. I'm fine, though."

"If you say so…" Carlos grabbed James' wrist, not seeing the visible wince in James' facial features, and tugged him down the hall. "I don't know why Gustavo called us. I think it was to work on harmonies or dance moves. Not sure."

"Hmm." James said thoughtfully while following Carlos. The two met Logan and Kendall at their convertible and quietly drove to the studio.

Gustavo was standing in front of the four boys after about three hours of rehearsal. "James! What's wrong with you? You're supposed to sing the chorus with fire! Not ice! I want fire! Not ice! All you are giving me is ice! You're also off key! And the dancing! Don't even get me started on that! God, I don't even know why Kendall would want you to come with him here! You suck! You have no talent and-"

Gustavo was cut off when a fist collided with his face. He fell back in horror as he saw James above him, glaring at him with the coldest, most broken eyes he had ever seen. "Fuck you, you fucking asshole." James knelt down and grasped Gustavo's neck, pressing lightly. "Try going through all the shit I've gone through for every fucking day since I was twelve." He growled out. "If you ever experienced **half **the pain I went through, you wouldn't even be able to handle it. So don't fucking say I have no talent and I suck." James pressed harder on his neck, making Gustavo cough, before lifting his hand and walking out of the room.

Gustavo breathed a bit and sat up with a bewildered look. "What's his problem?"

The boys looked at each other and shrugged.

James, on the other hand, was walking into the bathroom. He knew he only had a little time, so he took his blade out quickly and gingerly took the bandages off so he could reuse them.

_Even Gustavo hates you. He just has the guts to tell you how much. You have no talent, James. He was right. You can't sing or dance-"_

"NO! STOP TALKING!" James yelled through his tears, making a jagged line across his right forearm. He repeated the action three more times, sobbing through the dark thoughts threatening to make him go insane.

"James!"

James stopped what he was doing, pausing with the razor hovering over his arm. He saw Logan come over to him, grabbing the blade and throwing it on the counter and grabbing James' arm. He watched Logan's eyes widen at all the scars on the limb he held.

"James?" The pretty boy looked away. "James." Logan grabbed James' chin, forcing the taller boy to look at him. "Why? What's been going on with you? How could you turn to…this?"

James swallowed. "That's none of your business."

Logan threw James' arm down. "It is my business! You're my best friend! We're practically brothers! I deserve to know at least why you do this!"

"You want to know why?" James growled out, shoving Logan back.

"Yeah." Logan shoved James back.

James pushed Logan against the wall, pushing his shoulders back and pressing himself against the smaller boy while leaning down to whisper into his ear. "I do this because I'm dead inside. I died long ago. I'm broken beyond repair, Logan. My mom's dead, she would've turned 42 yesterday. My dad's a drunken bastard who beats his own kid whenever he sees him. The guy I love doesn't love me back. But instead, loves another girl and practically rubs it in my face. Every. Fucking. Day. I have people telling me what shit I am. How disgraceful to them I am. This is the only way I can feel human. The only way to relieve the pain." James pushed Logan against the wall harder. "So don't go telling me you can read people easily. Because I've been like this for a long time."

"James…" Logan whimpered, tears falling from his eyes.

"Tell anyone, I'm leaking your secret."

Logan eyes widened as James back up and reapplied his bandages. "What?"

"Of how you killed Carlos' dog while driving. Of how you broke Kendall's dad's hockey stick. Of how you changed Carlos' grade two years ago in the computer when he wanted to earn that grade. He got good grades that semester he thought he earned when really you just changed them. You see? You're not so innocent either. Yep. They'll know if you tell them about this. They'll be crushed."

"J-James. This is serious…"

"Them hating you is also serious." James said, putting the blade back in his pocket.

"How-?"

"I'm not the stupid, vain brunette you know. I watch people and read them." James left it at that, walking out.

"James…" Logan exhaled, eyes still wide at what his friend had been doing for…five years? Couldn't be. But it was.

"Remember what I said." James opened the door. "You should go back. Or Gustavo will be pissed. I think I made my message clear to him, so I'll be leaving."

"I'm going with you. Or you're staying here. I'm not leaving you alone." Logan said, glaring at the pretty boy.

James laughed. "Really, Logan? Really?"

"Yes. Now walk back to the recording booth and be quiet." Logan growled out.

James' eyes widened a little bit before nodding and grumbling, "Fine."

The two walked back into the booth, gaining questioning stares from both Kendall and Carlos. James only stood on the side, a scowl planted firmly on his face.

"Um…ok, dogs. We'll start with, um, Take a Shot in the Dark." Gustavo said, glancing at James quite frequently and being nicer throughout the whole evening. Not once did Gustavo yell the rest of the day. He just really stayed quiet and didn't say anything. Each of the boys had looked at James with confused glances, only to receive a glare in return. They all knew something was wrong with James, but Logan was the only person who really knew. And keeping that secret was slowly killing him. Making him more guilty, making him more angry, and making him feel pity for James. Yeah. Pity. He couldn't help it, though. He just needed to hide it from James…because if there was one thing James hated, it was pity.

Kendall, though, had grown more worried about James. Maybe he could use someone to talk to? Maybe he needed a shoulder to lean on? But what if Kendall did something stupid? Like kiss him? He shook his head. James needed his friends. So his friends were going to be there for him.

**A/N:**** tada! I hope it was ok! I liked this chapter. James went bad ass. :) Logan found out, though? But Logan's not so innocent, either. Hahaha. REVIEW and tell me how it was! And, if you have any ideas, REVIEW and tell me!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**** Another chapter, woohoo! OMG. How many stories am I juggling? Five? I'm screwed…XD Oh well, I've planned out the rest of this story. I've planned out Unrequited Love and Peanut Butter, too. So, that leaves three. And I'll probably be adding three or two new ones. LOL my mind doesn't like not thinking of Kames!**

Chapter 4:

It had been a week since Logan had caught James in the middle of a mental breakdown. A week. And the little nerd was still trying to help James. Thing was, James didn't want his help. He wanted to be left alone! But did that happen? NO!

James had just been trying to avoid everyone. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to laugh, he didn't want to smile, he just wanted to be left alone! Why couldn't everyone just understand that? They all kept bugging him on "How are you doing?" and "Everything alright?" It was annoying as hell! Why would they be so concerned for him? He was nothing compared to all of them. Therefore, by some stupid math property or whatever, that meant they shouldn't be worried about him!

James was sitting in his room when Logan walked in with a solemn expression.

"James-"

"What?" James snapped, interrupting Logan.

"Let me see your wrist." Logan held out his hand.

"No." James shrunk back against the head board.

"I need to see how many cuts there are so I can count each day and make sure you're not cutting anymore." Logan sat on the edge of the bed.

"No! Look, I can control it, ok? I'm strong and I can do it myself." James looked desperate to get out of there.

Logan sighed. "If you can control it, then why haven't you stopped? Why did you need it in the first place if you can control it?"

"Logan-"

"No. Don't even answer. You know you can't control it. You just can't. If you could, you would have stopped by now. You haven't. I've checked the bathroom and I've seen the blood. You haven't stopped."

"Go away. Just leave me alone!"

"No! Not until you let me see your wrists and let me help you! You're not letting me tell the others so I have to take it upon myself to help you, ok?" Logan stood up.

James only just shoved past Logan to the door. "You will never be able to help me. Only one person can, and he doesn't care." James was out the door by then.

"Shit." Logan muttered, running out into the living room and following James. "James! Get back here!"

"Get out of my fucking life, Logan!" He slammed the door.

Kendall was by Logan's side in only seconds, asking what was wrong.

"He…he…just go after him!" Logan cried out, shoving Kendall through the door after James.

Kendall stumbled after the running brunette, calling out his name and trying to run faster. He silently cursed himself for not running everyday (like James did) as the pretty boy sped up. He saw where James was heading and his eyes widened. Surely the brunette couldn't see the busy road through all his tears, right? Kendall hoped to God that was what was happening as he sped up after James.

James was now halfway across, on the median, and continuing to jog the rest of the way. Kendall ran after him, fortunately not being hit by a car yet, and reached the middle. He stepped off the median only to be shoved back on by an unknown force. He heard a screech, a horn, a few curse words, and heavy breathing and yelling in his ear.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Kendall? You could have gotten killed! Did you not see that freaking semi about to run you over?" James was yelling with tears spilling down his face.

Kendall hadn't seen it. And to say he was in shock would be a total understatement as he hugged James closer, crying into the brunette's shoulder. "Thank you…thank you…oh God, thank you…" Kendall sobbed out, gripping onto James' form tighter.

The taller boy tried to stand only to have Kendall pull him down again. James sighed and softly picked Kendall's limp form up. The blonde didn't really want to move, for he was in too much shock of almost being killed and saved by James for the third time. But the shorter boy still gripped James' form tightly, whispering thank you's into the taller boy's ear over and over again. As soon as they stepped into the apartment, they were bombarded with questions from the other two boys.

"What happened?"

"Why is James carrying Kendall?"

"Are you alright?"

James shook his head, silencing the boys. "Kendall was almost a grease spot on the road. He's in shock. We're fine. I'm going to put him to bed."

The other two nodded, noticing James' demeanor.

The tallest boy was kinder, his cold eyes melting as he held Kendall close to him. He had even smiled. James Diamond had _smiled_. That was something the boys hadn't seen in weeks. Weeks! James seemed a little happier, knowing that he had saved Kendall's life and that Kendall had cared about him. And Logan didn't fail to notice these little changes. Seeing them made him feel ok. James might be getting better. And that's when Logan's mind came up with an amazing plan. A plan to get James to stop cutting once and for all.

James had just walked into his and Kendall's shared room and set Kendall down on his bed. Thing was that Kendall wouldn't let go. He was clinging onto James for dear life. James knew that it probably had to do with the post-shock thing, but he couldn't help but wonder why Kendall wouldn't let go of him? Did the blonde care about James like James cared about him? It was quite possible, seeing that Kendall had run into the middle of a busy road to chase after James.

James lied down beside Kendall and pulled the blonde into his arms, resting his head on the blonde's. Kendall's hair smelled of his shampoo, and James couldn't help but smell it and kiss it. What could he say? James was just as impulsive as Kendall was. Kendall only snuggled into James' form more, gripping onto him for dear life. The smaller boy was drifting off when he felt James move.

"Don't leave me, Jamie. I love you." Kendall mumbled, holding James a little tighter. James only continued what he was doing, bringing the blanket up over both of them. Kendall moved a little bit, muttering the same three words before falling asleep on top of James.

James stared in shock at the ceiling above him.

Kendall loved him.

_Kendall_ loved him.

Kendall loved _him_.

Kendall _loved_ him.

It might not be in the way James wanted it, but it was close enough. It meant that Kendall cared for James. It meant that Kendall loved James. Whether it was in the brother way or the actual way, it didn't matter. Kendall loved him. That was all that mattered.

**A/N:**** I practically just changed the whole story line right there. I don't know why. I just…wow. Why did I do that? I seem to like the fluffier version of this more! XD I was originally going to have some more James angst…but, I don't know anymore. Change is good, though, eh? Hahaha please REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**** LOL I would have updated sooner but I've been super busy! XD So here is chapter 5…I'm so glad you guys like this so far! I've taken some of your earlier ideas and morphed it into this. XD I hope you like it!**

Chapter 5:

Logan's plan of getting James and Kendall together had gone down the drain.

Fast.

The two were practically ignoring each other.

Let's clear that up.

Kendall was ignoring James. And everybody else that didn't have blonde curly hair, brown eyes, and was a girl named Jo.

Logan was only forced to watch his best friend find 'the love of his life' and his other best friend die slowly every day. Hell, even Logan felt some of James' pain.

It wasn't a good feeling.

It's been a week since Kendall's unhealthy obsession with Jo started.

Logan constantly asked himself what was Kendall's problem…and yet came up blank each time. The only theory he had was that Kendall wanted a distraction from James. Why, he didn't know. Not knowing was something Logan hated.

Like, punch-your-best-friend hate.

So that's what Logan did.

He punched Kendall.

Kendall was walking into the lobby with Jo hanging off his arm. Logan saw it as a chance, and walked up to him. And punched him in the eye.

Hopefully he would have a good black eye in the next hour.

As Kendall covered his eye, he gave Logan the WTF look.

"Unbelievable." Logan muttered, shaking his head and walking away.

Kendall didn't see what Logan was trying to get at. He didn't see James' new attitude.

Logan did.

James constantly wore long sleeve shirts. He never undressed in front of anybody. The lets-show-off-my-body James Diamond was now shutting himself off and covering his body. Logan hadn't seen James' abs or muscles in the past two weeks. That wasn't a good sign, at all.

James also picked fights with everybody. He had gotten into countless arguments with Mrs. Knight about petty things. He had gotten into a rage-filled fight with Jett once, and pummeled the poor sucker. Jett had a few broken ribs because of James.

James' rage and anger towards everything was getting stronger.

James had even slapped Carlos' cheek when Carlos had pried too much in his business.

The Latino had run off crying to Logan.

James also argued a lot with Gustavo, which caused him more work, which caused more arguing. It was an endless cycle that, luckily, didn't reach the other three.

Logan had even caught James walking along the edge of the rooftop of the Palm Woods one night. When it was windy.

That's what really shook Logan out of his little world.

James could have died that night.

And yet, the stupid idiot continued avoiding Logan.

Logan sighed. What was he to do? James won't talk to him, Carlos won't talk to James, and Kendall was off in his own little happy world of Girlfriend Land.

Wait.

That was it.

Kendall. Kendall could be the one to help James. And then they would look into each other's eyes and kiss and-

He really needed to stop reading Mrs. Knight's romance novels.

Logan softly groaned at the sight of Kendall and Jo cuddling by the pool. There he was, off in Girlfriend Land.

God, he needed a better name for it.

But Kendall didn't like Blonde Bimbopalooza or Bitch's Caverns.

Carlos wasn't very creative with names…but James' names for her and her land were just plain cruel.

Back on topic.

Logan marched over there with a scowl on his face. "Kendall."

"What?" Kendall looked up, eyes clearly trying to convey _leave me ALONE!_

Logan laughed. "I need to talk with you. Now."

"Can't you see-"

"It concerns someone's life, Kendall. I'm pretty sure you don't want someone to die."

Jo lifted her head and scowled at Kendall. "Just go help Logan out with this person whose life is on the line!"

Sometimes, Logan was glad for Jo's power of Kendall.

Kendall groaned. "Fine!"

Logan quickly grabbed the blonde's wrist and tugged him over into one of the villa things. "You idiot!" Logan exclaimed, smacking Kendall's chest.

"What did I do?" Kendall asked, his WTF face being displayed.

"Do you not see what James has been doing the past two weeks?"

Kendall looked down.

"I thought so." Logan growled, turning to walk away.

Kendall grabbed his wrist. "What's he been doing?"

Logan turned. "Do you not notice how he never shows any more skin that his hands and neck and face? How he's picking fights with everyone? Have you not noticed his absence at nighttime? You share a fucking room!"

It was serious when Logan swore.

Kendall looked down again. He had noticed those things. He just kind of thought that James was taking on the role of bad boy.

"And you know what he does at night? He doesn't go sleeping around, he doesn't go get drunk, and he doesn't go to parties! He goes to the fucking roof top and walks the edge in twenty mile per hour wind! That's what he does!"

Kendall looked up at Logan's face with wide eyes. It couldn't be true.

"He's contemplating suicide, Kendall. About two weeks ago, I caught him in a mental breakdown. He's been cutting himself, Kendall. He does it because his mom's dead, his dad's a fucking asswipe, and he loves someone who doesn't love him back. Do you know who that person is?"

Kendall shook his head. He was speechless. He just found out his best friend was cutting himself. That was a lot to take in.

"He fucking loves you." Logan growled.

_No…it wasn't possible…_

"Has for a long time. You can see it in his eyes."

_Stop, Logan…you're not serious…_

"He's been avoiding me, Carlos has been avoiding him, and you, really, are the only one that can save him. So you either do that, or go back to Jo-ho over there and watch your friend die."

Kendall swallowed. "You can't be serious…"

"He fucking loves you!" Logan shouted, slamming a fist to Kendall's chest. "It's the main reason he cuts, you idiot! You're the only one who can save him!"

Kendall pushed Logan away. "You're fucking with me."

Logan growled. "I'm not."

Kendall sighed. "Whatever." He turned to walk away.

"Kendall." The blonde turned back around. "If he gets up in the night, follow him."

Kendall nodded before walking away.

It was three a.m. when James left the apartment.

Kendall awoke to James softly cursing when he fell.

And, surprisingly, he did as Logan told him to do. He followed James.

He found the brunette on the roof top, walking the edge.

Kendall gasped almost inaudibly. Logan was right. Then he scowled at himself.

When was Logan ever wrong?

_Not now, Kendall_.

Kendall sighed but stepped towards James' figure. "James!"

James turned and his eyes widened. "What?"

"Get down from there!" Kendall scorned, tugging on James' wrist. James winced, the telltale sign that Kendall had been missing.

It was true.

James was a cutter.

Kendall started to tear up. "James…"

James' cold eyes melted as he pulled Kendall in.

"How could you turn to that?"

The brunette stiffened.

"You could have come to me with everything. I wouldn't have hurt you."

James pulled back. "Like you do every day?"

Kendall looked down. "She's only a distraction…"

"For what?" James yelled out.

"So I don't break down every time I see you with someone not me!" Kendall exploded.

James gasped quietly. "…What?"

Kendall nodded. "You heard me."

James looked down. "Logan told you everything, didn't he?"

Kendall nodded. "And if you use that blackmail against him, I swear-"

James flicked his wrist. "I get it."

"James…please…I can help you."

"How?"

"By being your boyfriend. I love you back, you know."

James sighed. "Really?"

Kendall smiled and kissed James' lips softly. "Really."

James laughed lightly. "Let's get back to the apartment. It's cold out here."

Kendall took ahold of James' hand. "Alrighty then."

**A/N:**** OMG that didn't turn out the way I expected it to! Anyway, I hoped you liked it! I worked hard! XD It's about 2:30 in the morning here. So, yeah. Mmmhmmm. James has gone suicidal. D: I watched BT Break Up today. I think I gagged when I saw James in that mini fat suit and all the Kendall and Jo moments. But the end, James puts his arm around Kendall's shoulders or something and Kendall puts his arm around James' waist, they looked like a couple! SOOOO CUTE! XD Please, REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**** Last chapter of Save Me! *grins as face lights up* I'm so proud of myself! I kinda wanted this story done so I could continue with my other four (Soon to be five). I didn't need six on my shoulders! Well, I hope you enjoy fluff!**

Chapter 6:

James sighed as he woke to the smell of Kendall.

He loved that smell.

No way could he describe it. It was too perfect.

It was his favorite smell.

He chuckled lightly as he felt Kendall groan. Looking up, he saw the blonde just now opening his bottle green eyes.

"James! It's too early to be up." He pouted and grumbled.

I smiled. "Come on! I'm hungry."

"Too bad!" He pulled me closer. "I'm too comfy to move."

James rolled his eyes and pried himself from Kendall's grip. "I'm getting breakfast. Feel free to come."

He heard Kendall groan again before he stepped out of the room, heading to the kitchen. He heard the shower go on and new that Kendall was in.

He entered he kitchen, pulling out the ingredients to make a bagel.

But then there was the knife.

Mocking him.

Calling him.

_Use me, James…you know you want to…_

He took a few deep breaths and gently cut the bagel in half.

He nicked his finger.

It felt so _good._

_No, James! Stop!_

_ But it felt so nice…_

The blade was nearing his wrist.

Just…one…cut…

It won't hurt.

The blade was on his wrist.

He just needed to move it.

But could he do that to Kendall?

He didn't have time to answer his own question, because there was a pale hand grabbing the one holding the knife. It gently pried his fingers off of the beauty before pulling James to the living room.

Logan set the knife down on the counter before sitting James down.

"James…"

James looked away.

"It's going to be hard, you're going to have relapses, but you need to try harder."

He swallowed. "I did try…"

"Not hard enough. Think of us, James, when you feel the urge. Think of Kendall. Think of how it's not going to do you any good."

He glared at him. "It does do well! It gets rid of all the pain!"

"And Kendall can't do that?"

James looked away.

"Exactly."

James looked down.

"There are going to be plenty of slip ups. You're going to have to go through hell a little bit. But you're going to get better, James."

James nodded.

"If you ever have the urge, talk to one of us. We'll help you."

James' stomach growled. He gave no answer.

"I'll make you that bagel. Cream cheese or jam?"

James looked up. "Cream cheese."

Logan nodded and finished James' bagel, handing it to the boy.

"Thanks Logan."

"For what?"

James finally smiled. "For telling Kendall."

Logan smiled. "Just eat your bagel."

James finally laughed.

Oh how it felt good to laugh.

**A/N:**** I know, short as hell. But it's an epilogue of sorts. Showing you all how James is going to slip up but will come through.**

**I hoped you all enjoyed the story! Thank you so much for reading it! I love you all!**

**Please, Reivew?**


End file.
